Candor In The Workplace

In The Adventures of Pinocchio, Geppetto, a woodcarver who lived in a small Italian village, created a wooden puppet that he named Pinocchio. As the story goes, Pinocchio dreamed of becoming a real boy. As he engages in an adventurous quest to become a boy, he learns that when he becomes stressed, which typically happens from telling a lie, his nose would grow. When his nose grew it revealed to others the fact that he was not being completely honest.

Imagine

Imagine if we were inflicted with the same condition as Pinocchio. Imagine that our nose grew every time you spoke anything less than the complete truth. How would you fair? The “complete truth” means not only avoiding a flat our lie, but it includes little white lies, exaggerations of the truth, selective recollection, and the purposeful exclusion of facts.

How would we approach life differently?

Let’s forget the obvious lie. What if your nose grew each time you chose to stretch the truth or knowingly left out details. Would you pause before speaking and think through what you were about to say? Would you choose to say nothing at all, so as not to embarrass yourself by saying anything less than the truth? Would you approach life as if every moment you spoke it was as if you were on a witness stand and subject to contempt for failing to tell the truth?

The Impact of Dishonesty

When we choose to exaggerate the facts, purposefully leave out details, selectively fail to recall the facts, and flat out lie, a choice is being made to place our character and integrity at risk. This is many times done because we fear the consequences of the truth, don’t want to hurt another’s feelings, or are embarrassed by our choices and behavior. All of which seem like, at least in the moment, good reasons to be less than completely honest. However, over time the truth usually surfaces and the impact of the dishonesty is many times much more significant than the consequence of being upfront and honest at the time the initial lie. I used the word “initial” because it is rare that it ends with one lie or exaggeration. When a lie or stretch of the truth is told it many times ends up in a series of lies that only serve to make matters worse for everyone.

The Truth Can Be Tough

While it may be tough to be completely honest with people, it is important that we chose to be exactly that. Why? Because when we are less than honest, even if we believe it is for the benefit of another, we are hurting ourselves, the other person, and our relationships with others.

This is because the other person will eventually find out the truth and learn that you were being less than honest with them all along. In the end, this means your strategy failed. You didn’t really succeed at protecting them by choosing to not to be forthright with them. You only succeeded at delaying the inevitable. By delaying another’s reckoning with the truth you are also delaying their ability to cope with the reality of the situation. This only serves to prolong the issue and makes overcoming the situation more painful and more stressful. Doing so can also hinder their development. Your lack of transparency also exposes you as being someone who may be of questionable character.

The Significance of Personal Integrity

As family members, friends, colleagues, professionals, leaders, and politicians it is extremely important that we maintain our personal integrity. When we fail to step up and be responsible for sharing the truth, we are choosing to put our character in jeopardy. We are at the same time choosing to harm others.

In most cases the one we were less than completely honest with will recover from our failure to be upfront with them, but we may never recover from the flaw in our character that was revealed when the truth becomes known. When it is realized by others that a person has been, or is known to be, less than honest and forthcoming with the truth they are appropriately labeled as such. They then spend their days trying to rebuild their character, much like the wooden nosed puppet trying to reduce the size of his nose by telling the truth, which takes far longer than it took to be dishonest.

Jiminy Cricket

Your personal integrity is as visible to others as Pinocchio’s nose was visible to Jiminy Cricket. To prevent damage to your personal character it is important that you, as a leaders, colleague, and friend, protect your integrity at all costs, even if it means owning up to a mistake that could cost you a friendship, professional position, or status in the community. Odds are that the time it takes to recover from the truth will be far less than the time it takes to recover from a lie and the ongoing concern others will have about you and your integrity.

If you struggle to be completely (compassionately of course) honest with people, ask yourself why? What is it that is holding you back? Is it more about you and your fears than how the other person may feel upon hearing the truth? You can overcome any barriers you have, such as fear of confrontation, by working with someone who can coach you through the process. It is better to admit your struggles and work to overcome them than it is to jeopardize your integrity and potentially damage your personal and professional reputation. Most people understand what it is to struggle with difficult conversation. However, most people do not understand or tolerate dishonesty.

If you’re a leader charged with evaluating and developing people, this is an obstacle that you must find your way through, not around, if you hope to have a high performing team.

Randy Stepp is a Principal with Renaissance Leadership Group. RLG is a full-service business development company whose purpose is to help business owners realize their dreams of independence and freedom.

Visit Renaissance Leadership Group at www.renaissanceleadershipgroup.com to learn more about business development.